Funny how God has a way of teaching you things you didn’t really think you needed to know.
I was a stay at home mom. I loved being at home with my kids. In fact I have to admit that I got a bit prideful (is that a word?) about it. I didn’t think I was, but if a mom told me that she “had” to work I would think to myself…you wouldn’t have to if you were willing to give up that manicure of yours.
Being a stay at home mom was my destiny….it was what God wanted me to do. But now I wonder…does God have the same path for everyones’ life? I never really thought about the fact that maybe…just maybe, God wants some moms to work.
I now have one daughter that is a stay at home mom and one that is a working mom. I am so proud of them both. Why? Because they are both doing what they feel God wants them to do with their life.
I know that being a stay at home mom can be hard. It’s hard to be with working people and feeling like you have nothing to talk about but the new strides they are making in disposable diapers. I know how temptation can enter your thoughts when your are lonely…I know how hard it is to stay interesting to your husband. I know how hard it is to take care of your children when you are sick because you don’t have a daycare to send them to.
I now know how hard it is for the working mom. I now realize that they have that manicure because without it people see you as a mom that is trying to work rather than the professional you are. I now know that you have to go to work when you are sick so you can save your sick days for when your child is sick.
I now know how hurtful I must have been to those working moms. Moms that were tired, stressed, doing the best they could with what God had instructed them to do.
I now see women differently than I did….Now I just want to encourage them to be what God put them on this earth to be. I want us as women to stop trying to build ourselves up by trying to tear down others. I want us to help each other. Maybe I can take your kid to basketball practice for you but maybe you are the woman doctor I want for my daughter when she needs one. Maybe I can bake cookies for the class party so you can be my child’s teacher.
I’m sorry to any working mom out there that I ever laid a layer of guilt on.
My daughter is the director of a non profit….she talks daily with your girls that are struggling with life. Girls that don’t need guilt laid on them, just love. Aren’t you glad that there are women like my daughter that are willing to listen to the call of God over their own desires?
Pray for the working moms you know…pray for the stay at home moms you know…God has mighty things that he wants to do in both of their lives….Forgive me Lord for not seeing that sooner.
inspiredwife
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A great post….thank you for baring your heart. Hoping that this bears witness to others.
I love this. Thank you so much for this!
So very well said….
Thank you kind lady…I sent on to my wonderful daughter and daughter in law….I know they will receive a blessing also.
Not a mom yet (not even pregnant yet…maybe some day), but a stay at home wife. I definitely understand what you mean by how difficult it is to pass the days in the house alone and how hard it is to stay interesting to your husband when all you have to talk about is your trip to the store for TP. I’ve found myself thinking the same things about manicures and sacrifice, even though I’ve been on both sides. I’ve worked and I’ve stayed at home. Both have challenges and we should accept whatever a person is led to do. Good reminder for all of us. Thank you.
This post was meant exactly for me to read today! I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years and feel totally blessed by God to do so. I have a sick daughter home today who will be going to the doctor shortly to see our female/mom pediatrician and I will see her with new eyes today! Thank you for this.
You’ve got that right, I am sorry too. Though I don’t mean to be hurtful, I know actions, expressions and words say differently. There are so many sides to everyone’s story that no one on the outside may ever know. I am a SAHM, and I am still learning to embrace the gift I have being home with my children.
Diane, I understand. & it’s ok. I fought for the right for woman’s lib, understanding that it’s a woman’s choice to go to work, just as it’s their choice to stay at home. That bothered a lot of feminists – realizing that it was ok to stay at home, because it was my choice. Now I go to work. It’s a tough decision, but what ever decision is made, we always question if it’s the right one.
We follow the path He puts before us, and trusting Him is sometimes hard. But we do it. I often pray “help me get through this, so I can see how it changes my life & the life of those around me”, and in the end, I see how my life changed for the better. The better for my children as well, both those that I gave birth to, and those that I help every day by giving them strength & encouragement. Even if those children of God are 20 years older than me, I still can give them strength, and help make their lives better.
So while you apologize, I want to say “thank you” to you, for making me question if what I’m doing is right. And for further solidifying my answers, when people question why I work where I do, when I could be making more money, or work in a safer environment, or when I could be home with those born to me. It is your questioning that helps me make me stronger. Thank you.
Some moms would love to stay home and not be everything to everybody but some of us have absolutely no other choices. I have to believe that I am where I am because I am supposed to be, otherwise, it would be too hard.
It is SO nice to hear this from a stay at home mom. So much of what we hear on this subject these days is working moms still feeling like they have to prove that they are just as great of moms as SAHM’s. But the reality is that while working moms ARE equally great moms, they still aren’t accepted as such until we start hearing this acceptance from the SAHM’s- from both sides really.
On a personal level, I always found it really hurtful when women (especially Christian women, and even women in our church) would say that being a SAHM was “God’s way” or the right way or the Christian way to raise children. I always wondered what that meant for my family, as my sister and I were raised by a single mom (who was also a very successful businesswoman). I can’t tell you the number of times we were treated like a second class family because my mom truly had to work, or the number of times we weren’t included in things because they were planned right after school when my mom was still working. When I would hear these comments and undertones in high school, that good Christian women grow up and become stay at home moms, I wondered why God gave me so many talents and passions and why he gave me the ability and desire to make a big difference in the lives of A LOT of people if he didn’t want me to use the talent and passions that He gave me.
Now I’m to the point where I don’t think it is a bad thing necessarily if someone wants to be a SAHM- so long as they are using the talents, passions, and gifts God has given them to make a difference however God calls them to make that difference. It is so important that kids see this regardless of whether their mom works or not, because ultimately every mom wants her children to grow up knowing they are uniquely gifted and uniquely loved and capable of great things.
Ever wonder where in the Bible we get that mom’s should stay home? I don’t remember reading that verse.
Thanks! You are letting God use you. As I transitioned from stay at home mom with lots of time to volunteer in my church, to a part time job with very little time to volunteer, I felt guilty. It has been so good for me to look at the process of how I got there, to be willing to give up my job or keep my job, depending on where God leads our family. I still feel those twinges of guilt at times but I really enjoy my job and am thankful for how it has helped me grow as a person. We live in a big city with poor schools, so God uses this job to allow our children to attend local Christian schools. Apparently it’s right where He wanted our kids!
Good one !! Best one yet !!
Very well said, thank you