To quote Peter Cook from The Princess Bride…”Marriage, marriage is what brings us together.”
Unfortunately …marriage is what often tears us apart. Many will tell you that they don’t want to marry because it will ruin what often seems like a perfect relationship…but why?
Think about it, why would you ever think it would work. Eyes meet from across a crowded room. Two people from different worlds come together and live together happily ever after. Talk about a miracle!
People often look at our marriage and think it’s amazing….you want to know why?
That’s what I tell people. I tell them that it is amazing. That my husband is amazing.
Yep…it’s that simple.
Don’t get me wrong. My husband and I have a very good marriage/friendship but it didn’t just happen that way.
My married daughter asked me the other day how I convinced all of them that their dad can do anything. Other than the fact that he can, it was simple…I believe in him.
When you believe in someone, it gives them power…soon they start to believe in themselves.
It started back when we were dating….I think we were about 17 years old, and he was telling me that he wanted to build us a house some day. I looked at him with horror in my eyes. Now if that wasn’t bad enough, I opened my mouth. “I don’t want a house that the wind can blow thru I snapped at him”
Something like this had flashed before my eyes…
and I spoke before thinking. I will never forget the look on his face. I crushed him…..instantly I knew that my words had power, and I vowed that day that I would always believe in him, even if no one else did.
Fast forward a few years and I was at a company party talking to my husband’s boss. By this time I had gotten very good at believing. Well I guess I had been going on and on about how amazing my husband was when his boss said to me…”You are the best thing he has going for him.”
Those words confirmed to me that I was on to something.
Was it always easy? NO! Young brides like to get together and bash their husbands. I refused.
Another time when it is easy to start bashing your husband is when your kids are entering the teen years. I had all girls and it was tempting at times to throw Mr. Amazing in the male bashing ring just to bond with my daughters.
Now that I am approaching the empty next, I see another tempting time ahead of me.
We women like to mother, but once the kids are gone we don’t have anyone to fix anymore…so we start “fixing” our husbands. We tell them what they should and shouldn’t eat…we make fun of what they wear. We have power in our words…the power to build up or tear down.
My children think their dad can do anything, because he thinks he can do anything because I know he can.