I can remember it so clearly…I was in the midst of despair. The world as I knew it had come to a quick halt. Everything I thought I knew about me and my family was now in question.
I remember KNOWING only two things…my God loved me and my husband loved me. Other than that, nothing in my world was feeling very secure.
Up until January 13th 2009, I guess my story was pretty boring. I married my high school sweetheart, had 4 wonderful daughters and was living the dream.
During this time, my faith was part of my resume but it was nothing I had ever really had to use. Kind of like being a doctor and only using your knowledge to bandage up cuts on your kids…..then tragedy hits and all of a sudden you had to perform surgery…no time to go back and review…you must work off the knowledge that you have stored up.
Up until this point in my life I had always come to God with my blueprints in hand. I had plans and I wasn’t shy about sharing them with God. As I would layout my blueprints before Him, I would tell Him all the desires of my heart. There wasn’t much room on my blueprints for God’s input. Until that January day.
I had no blueprints….I couldn’t imagine how even He could fix this mess….
Ok…confession time..I did have one idea that I have to admit I did actually pray for….more than once.
Do you remember an old Superman movie where he flew around the earth backwards to get time go back? I knew that my God had parted the Red Sea, how hard could this be?
As time went by I could see that God wasn’t planning to solve my problems this way, but I had no other solutions for Him to consider. I couldn’t imagine a happy ending to my story.
My Story….wow…God was writing my story. This may sound strange to you, but I think that up until this time I really believed that I was writing my story and God was helping me with it.
How could I be so wrong?
I remembering sitting in church and seeing this very old woman sitting in the choir singing to her Lord with a huge smile on her face . You don’t get that old without a story, and yet here she was Praising her Lord.
It was then that I realized that I had no control over my story….but I was given control of how I would act in my story. I vowed to God that day that I would praise Him thru my darkest of days because the truth is…my story isn’t about me..it’s about HIM.
I went home that day and started looking at my Bible in a whole new light. Those stories weren’t about Daniel…or Moses…or Esther…they were about God…so why would I think my life was about me?
God has given me the desires of my heart…. he didn’t turn back the hands of time, but he reached down farther and looked to see deep down what I really wanted and gave me more than I could have even imagined.
Are you letting God write your story, or are you still trying to hand him your blueprints?